My Working Memory Tested at 10 Percent. I Still Build Businesses.

Ten percent sounds like a limit. For Julie Lokun, it became a lesson in leading differently, building around her gaps, and letting go of the shame of forgetting.

By Julie Lokun, JD

I have a confession to make. My working memory has been measured at what I've been told is 10 percent. Ten percent. Let that sink in for a moment.

If you're an entrepreneur, you may know some version of this, even without a test score attached. You can see the whole vision for your company and still lose track of the small things that keep it running. I've lived in that gap for years, and I'd guess more founders live there than will say so.

Big ideas, lost instructions

Give me a big idea, and I'm off to the races. Ask me to connect people, create a brand, or build something from nothing, and I'm on my playground. But give me five verbal instructions in rapid succession, and a few of them will probably get lost somewhere between my ears and my intentions. For years I wondered why things that look effortless for other people can feel like climbing Mount Everest for me.

What I've come to understand is that working memory is not the same thing as intelligence. My brain struggles to hold several pieces of information at once. It can still think deeply, solve problems, and spot opportunities. Some things just require a different approach.

The judgment nobody talks about

In business, a working memory problem can look like a character flaw. People mistake forgetfulness for carelessness and disorganization for laziness. Asking the same question twice gets read as not listening. When you're supposed to be the person in charge, that's embarrassing, and after hearing those judgments enough, you start to believe them yourself.

I've asked myself whether I'm stupid. How can I handle such complicated work and still struggle with something so basic? Entrepreneurship doesn't make that question any quieter, because the job is juggling a thousand things at once: clients, contracts, podcasts, deadlines, employees, events, emails, and family. Some days my brain feels like it has 47 browser tabs open, three of them are playing music, and I can't figure out which one is making the noise.

How I lead with it

I've learned to rely on creativity, instinct, relationships, and systems instead of trying to hold everything in my head. I surround myself with people whose strengths complement mine. That has taught me that being a leader doesn't mean being the person who remembers everything. It means being the person who can see where everyone is going.

I won't romanticize it

It's frustrating, it's exhausting, and sometimes it's humiliating. There are moments I wish I could retain every detail of a meeting or follow complicated instructions without writing them down. There are days I need three reminders for one thing. And yet I'm still building and still creating.

I've also started asking whether this is a disability. If my working memory substantially limits certain everyday activities, it may qualify, and I'm learning not to fear that word. It doesn't erase what I've accomplished or say anything about my intelligence. It means I may need support in areas that others take for granted, and that I can be highly capable and still need accommodations.

To the founder who sees herself here

Ten percent is a number that can make you question everything you believe about yourself. I refuse to let one score become the whole story. Somewhere there's a woman sitting in her office right now, wondering why she's capable of extraordinary things and still struggles with ordinary ones. I'm telling this story for her.

You deserve to understand how your brain works and to have tools that make your life easier. You deserve to ask for help without feeling ashamed. And you deserve to be evaluated for everything you're capable of, not only the things that are hard for you. My working memory may be limited. My ambition is not.

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