What Stages and Pages Taught Me About Real Connection
Updated: 4 days ago
I went to San Antonio to support some incredible people, talk about podcasting, and make connections. I came home with another reminder of why showing up in person still matters.
By Julie Lokun
There's something about putting a bunch of entrepreneurs, authors, and speakers in the same room that gets me excited. Everyone has a story, everyone has something they're working toward, and almost everyone could use a little help getting their voice heard.
That's exactly the energy I walked into at LIGHTbeamers' Stages & Pages in San Antonio, Texas.
I was there to speak about two of my favorite subjects, podcasting and visibility, but I also had another reason for making the trip. I wanted to support people who have supported me. And somewhere between the pizza, the pitches, and the conversations along the River Walk, I was reminded of something I've long believed.
The best connections rarely happen when you're trying to make them happen.
It All Started With Pizza (As Most Good Things Should)
I stepped away from the grind of my business. Reports. Zooms. Endless meetings.
As I rolled my luggage through the massive corridors of O'Hare International Airport at the cusp of dawn, I decided to leave everything behind. I was going to do things different this time around.
I had the pleasure of hosting Pizza & Pitches on Wednesday night, and I couldn't think of a better way to kick things off.
We had pizza, a room full of people ready to share their stories, and a little game called Pitch Bingo. If you've never played, imagine trying to find someone who's launched a podcast or written a book in under a year. Suddenly, you're talking to people you might have been too nervous to approach five minutes earlier.
And that's the beauty of a good icebreaker. It gives everyone a reason to start talking without the pressure of having to impress anyone. That's especially important for people who find networking intimidating or exhausting.
By the time the official conference started, people had already begun making connections. Those first few hours matter more than we sometimes realize. They're when people start relaxing, sharing their experiences, and realizing they have quite a bit in common.
Plus, pizza makes just about any networking event better.
This Year, I've Made a Commitment to Show Up
One of my biggest personal commitments this year has been supporting other people and the events they've worked so hard to create.
That commitment has taken me to BookThinkers with Nick Hutchison in Boston, Evermindful with Lois Villa in Connecticut, Stages & Pages in San Antonio, Legendary Ladies with Wendy Babcock and Jim Kwik's Limitless Live in San Diego. (To name a few)
I've been intentional about it because I know how much work it takes to bring people together. I've talked before about why live conferences are so valuable for entrepreneurs, and I believe in supporting the people who make those experiences possible.
April Adams Pertuis and Alexa Bigwarfe, the women behind Stages & Pages, are two people who have consistently shown up for me. They've supported my work, encouraged me, and been part of my journey. When I had the opportunity to show up for them, I wanted to be there.
I think we sometimes forget how important that is.
It's easy to celebrate someone's success from your phone. You can like their announcement, leave an encouraging comment, or send a quick message telling them how excited you are.
And those things are wonderful. But there's something different about getting on an airplane, showing up in person, and being part of what someone else has created.
Support should go both ways. If we want people to invest in us, we need to be willing to invest in them, too.
Yes, I Took the Stage. But That's Only Part of the Story.
I had the opportunity to speak about podcasting and visibility, which, if you know me, are two subjects I could probably talk about all day. I've written about why podcasting remains such a powerful opportunity for businesses, and I love helping people see what's possible with their own voice.
One of the biggest messages I wanted to share was the importance of owning your ecosystem instead of renting your audience.
Think about how much time we spend building our presence on social media. We create content, grow our followers, and work hard to get people interested in what we have to say.
But here's the problem. We don't own those platforms.
Algorithms change. Accounts disappear. The audience you've worked so hard to build can suddenly become much harder to reach.
That's why I'm such a believer in building something you own, whether that's your podcast, website, email list, or community. Your voice is an asset, and you should have a place where people can continue to connect with you, regardless of what happens on social media.
I loved having the opportunity to share that message with the room.
But you know what I loved just as much?
The conversations that happened after I put down the microphone.
Some of My Favorite Moments Happened Away From the Stage
I walked along the San Antonio River Walk with Mary Mouritsen, a vibrant redhead and author who is the kind of human you can fall into a conversation with ease. The backdrop of the magical river walk before the sun rose was the perfect stage for re-connection, vulnerability, and laughs.
There's something about walking alongside another human that makes conversation feel more natural. You're moving, talking, sharing stories, and getting to know each other without worrying about what comes next on the agenda.
My soul continued to be fed around the table.
Easy conversations flanked my days. Clam chowder with Holly Totten. Steamed mussels with Tina Eliana and Anne Gollert Hill. While overlooking the river, I was reminded of the need to be present. No business cards. No rehearsed pitches. Just a communion of minds.
We let our hair down, laughed until our bellies ached, and promised that this moment would happen more often. We pinky swore.
These are the moments that counted. This is when you are not delivering a presentation or trying to squeeze your entire professional background into a 30-second introduction.
You're just being yourself.
You are transcending the noise that fills our normal days.
You unite in a common mission with other people.
Throughout the event, I met people from completely different backgrounds, with different experiences and different reasons for being there. Some were authors. Some were speakers. Others were entrepreneurs working toward their next big opportunity.
But everyone had something in common.
They wanted to use their voice.
And whether we were standing onstage or sitting across from each other at a table, that's exactly what we were doing.
Wait, You Know Her Too?
One of my favorite little moments involved a conversation with Cheryl Jones.
We started talking and eventually discovered that we actually had a friend in common.
I love when that happens.
You meet someone you've never spoken to before, start asking questions, and suddenly realize your worlds have been overlapping without either of you knowing it.
It's another reminder of how small the world really is.
But here's what I find interesting about those moments. We wouldn't have discovered that connection if we hadn't taken the time to talk.
That's why I always encourage people to lead with curiosity. It's something I discuss in my tips for networking like a pro, because the best connections usually begin when you take a genuine interest in someone else.
Ask someone where they're from. Find out what brought them to the event. Ask about the work they're excited about or the people who've influenced them.
You never know where the conversation might go.
Sometimes, all it takes is discovering one person you both know.
Your Next Big Opportunity Might Start With a Conversation
I spend a lot of time talking about visibility because I believe everyone deserves the opportunity to share their story.
But visibility doesn't automatically create relationships.
You can have thousands of followers, a beautiful website, and an impressive professional biography. None of those things guarantee that people genuinely know or trust you.
Relationships take a little more effort. And as my conversation with Neil Rogers about sales without selling reinforced, making people feel valued matters far more than treating every conversation like a business transaction.
If you're an author, speaker, entrepreneur, or someone trying to grow a personal brand, here are a few things I'd encourage you to do.
Start by being curious. Before launching into your perfectly rehearsed elevator pitch, ask someone what brought them into the room. Find something you have in common. It might be a mutual friend, a shared experience, or a challenge you've both faced.
Show up for other people. Attend their events. Buy their books. Share their podcast episodes. Celebrate what they're building, even when there's nothing immediately in it for you.
Say yes to the little moments. Take the walk. Join the group for dinner. Have coffee with someone you've just met. Some of the strongest relationships begin during those unplanned moments between scheduled activities.
Don't disappear after the conference. Reach out within 48 hours. Send a voice note, share a resource you discussed, or simply let someone know you enjoyed meeting them. Make the message personal enough that they know you were actually paying attention.
And if you really want to build a lasting community, bring those relationships into your own ecosystem. Invite someone to your podcast, introduce them to someone in your network, or encourage them to connect with your community. Even something as simple as building a podcast community on Substack can help keep those conversations going long after the event ends.
Be the person who brings people together.
Don't feel like you need to become some perfectly polished version of yourself every time you step onstage. Share your experiences, including the messy parts. People want to hear from a human being, not a walking LinkedIn biography.
San Antonio, You Were Good to Me
I've been to plenty of events over the years, and each one has reminded me of something different.
Stages & Pages reminded me that our voices become more powerful when we surround ourselves with people who genuinely want to see us succeed.
I'm grateful to April and Alexa for bringing everyone together and for continuing to create opportunities where people can share their experiences, learn from one another, and build real relationships.
I'm also grateful for the people I met, the conversations I had, and the moments that had absolutely nothing to do with a microphone.
Because when I look back on San Antonio, I won't just remember speaking onstage.
I'll remember the pizza, the walks, the meals, the laughter, and that wonderful feeling of realizing someone you've just met might become an important part of your life.
Now I'm curious. Who's someone you met in real life who ended up changing the direction of your career, business, or life?⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
I'd love to hear your story.
xxxx- Julie
Thank you for the reminder that conversations and real relationships are the core of building your brand. It is not the perfect pitch it is behind the scenes when you get to really understand another human.