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  • Writer's pictureJulie Lokun

The 2 Rules of Trust

Without trust, there is no peace.

Trust: The firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

In this era of digital espionage and deceit who can we trust?

Who do you trust? Who do you trust with your most personal secrets? Who can you trust in this day in age where friends are collected like badges on social media? It is a tricky point to navigate when you hear about the dregs of humanity stealing identities, devouring bank account, and hacking sensitive accounts.

I have been recently reminded how vulnerable we are as we open up to people we don't really know. In the past year, my husband's social security number has been hacked, my credit card number stolen and my name compromised on a social media platform. This has all happened in 365 days. It rendered me helpless, but note hopeless.

First Rule: Don't Trust

Rule number one, don't trust anyone.

Remember the good in humanity-and does not lose sight of the beauty in life.

And after you align your mindset with the foundational principle that everybody has goodness within, understand that there are people in this world whose main objective is to get what they want and they are not constrained by morals or the rule of law.

Ugly, I know.

These are the cold facts.

The elderly are targeted. In 2020, the (FBI) Internet Complaint Center received 105,301 complaints from victims over the age of 60 with total losses in excess of

$966 million. Since age is not a required reporting field, these statistics only reflect complaints in which the victim voluntarily provided their age range as “OVER 60.” Victims over the age of 60 are targeted by perpetrators because they are believed to have significant financial resources.

According to the Wall Street Journal, The Federal Bureau of Investigation said it received more than 241,000 complaints about phishing attempts during 2020, a marked increase from the previous year, as hackers zeroed in on concerns about the coronavirus pandemic and attempted to exploit widespread remote working. Although losses from phishing were down in 2020, at $54.2 million compared with $57.8 million in 2019, the number of reports surged by more than 126,000, the FBI said in an annual report from its Internet Crime Complaint Center, or IC3, published Wednesday. Total complaints across all categories rose by 69%, the FBI said, reaching a record 791,790.

Ask yourself, why are you putting your blind trust in people you have never met?

This may be the attorney in me--or the mom-brain I can never turn off, however, I would feel remiss if I did not offer you these few tips. Consider these cautionary when interacting with unknown entities,


  • Check Credentials,

  • Do Your Research (Google the heck out of everyone),

  • Do Business with Local Businesses,

  • Ask For Referrals from people you know in "real life" and,

  • Trust your gut, if something does not feel right-don't do it.

Second Rule: Trust

The second rule is to trust.

Trust your instinct. Your intuition, if listened to, is a barometer whispering invaluable insight into your daily life.

Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without recourse to conscious reasoning. Different fields use the word "intuition" in very different ways, including but not limited to: direct access to unconscious knowledge; unconscious cognition; inner sensing; inner insight to unconscious pattern-recognition; and the ability to understand something instinctively, without any need for conscious reasoning.

Trust this gut feeling that something is wrong or that something is right. When we overthink and rationalize we mute our intuitive compass. At our core, we want to trust others, yet do not dip into naivete. Be smart, proactive, and intentional about your relationships, both personal and professional.

Go back to the basics. Go back to the time when a handshake was just as binding as a contract. Go back to the basics of creating real relationships that stand the test of time. We are a generation where we want things done quickly. We are a generation where we believe our true "friends" are those that follow us on social media. We have collectively lost the essence of the relationship when the pandemic hit and was forced into a lull of virtual connections. Now we have the capability to reconnect and rediscover what the power of an authentic connection feels like,

Coach Jule's Unsolicited Advice:

Invite that friend you have not seen since 2019 over for coffee. Call your neighbor and go for a walk. Or pop in at a local restaurant with the bestie you have been promising a night out with. The power of real relationships is where trust is born.

you got this- Jules

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